MY Story!

It seems that I never did take the time to explain me I just assumed anyone reading this was someone I had told about it or knew so I didn't need to do any explaining. I really only got this blog so that I could leave comments on J's site (a site very near and dear to my own heart) but have discovered it's a nice way to keep all my family and friends updated. Now it seems the more sites I visit the more others visit mine. So it's time to tell my story for those of you who don't know. I was born and raised and have lived all of my life in the same city. I met a man here, well several but why dredge up the past. I met one amazing man who agreed to marry me. We have now been married for a little over three years. We've been together for over six though. During the first year we were too busy to think about having kids. We weren't preventing but we weren't trying either. Then we bought our house and everything changed. We spent the next six months trying to have a baby. It's the worst feeling in the world to want something so badly and not be able to have it. There are people who have children they can't and don't want to take care of but people like me couldn't have any? This just didn't seem right. I asked for help and the doctor asked me if I was regular. I told her I hadn't had a period since I went off the Depo before I got married. She told me to take Provera to induce a period and go from there. This worked for that month but no further. So I went back and asked again. She told me to try ovulation tests and Provera so I did. It seemed it still didn't work. So I went back again and she told me to take b/c pills for a month then ovulation tests and then Provera again if I needed it. I did just this but oddly I was pregnant the whole time. Well by the second visit. I took Provera while pregnant and became extremely ill but I thought it was just the meds. After you want something for so long, dreamed about it, prayed for it, everything it's hard to believe it may have happened. So I took the test. I thought it was the flu but then 6 months after finding out I gave birth to the most beatiful child in the world (yes I'm biased). After having him with little complication I began to have problems with my period again. This time I asked my OB and she said it wasn't anything to worry about. So I didn't at first then three months went by and I had to take Provera again. Then another three months and Provera again. Finally she realized something wasn't right. She asked how long I had been irregular and I told her since the first one. She ran some tests asked me if I had excessive facial hair. Lots of stuff we also discussed my hypoglycemia. After several tests and lots of talking it was determined I had PCOS. I was upset to think that all that suffering was my own fault. How could that be, how could life be so cruel to me? I felt like my dreams of having this family were being taken from me. So we decided to be proactive and not go on the b/c that was suggested. We would go ahead and try again even though we felt it was too soon to have another child. My OB refered me to an endocrynologist who put me on Metformin (Glucophage). We soon realized I was really insulin resistant just misdiagnosed. I was scared that we wouldn't get lucky again. That all the other stories I've read would be my fate as well. We were discussing Clomid but I had lost my job, so we decided it wasn't a good time. Lone and behold it was too late. Don't get me wrong I'll take it. This baby will be 22 months younger than it's brother it is the perfect timing. Now that I don't have guilt over my abilties as a woman now I feel guilt over the others who stories I've followed who don't even have one. And here I am having my second. I don't know how I got so lucky, I don't know if it will last to the next time, I don't even know if this baby will make it (as PCOS runs a risk of miscarriage). I think we're off to a good start though. I'm due February 17th and so far so good. Isn't that all I can really ask for?